A Naptime Dream

Okay... so I'm not a huge blogger. What little blogging I've done has been entirely focused on my travels. My loyal readers (Mom, Dad, my male "companion") seemed to enjoy my writings though, so hopefully I can bring the same entertaining musing to my dreams. Here it goes...

I shall start with your last entry Tati. Veeeery interesting. I think this is the one you told me about on our way back from San Diego, ya? Seems this one has stuck with you. Have you looked up the symbolism? I think water refers to emotions, but that's about all I got. Dreaming that you were sleeping... that's gotta mean something. Overall though, your imagery seems relaxing and playful. I like it. Okay, my turn...

Last night's sleep was light, fitful and way too short. Naps were definitely needed throughout the day (luckily, my current involvement in a family road trip allows much time for these) and one of them yielded this odd dream: It started with me visiting the older of my two younger sisters, Christina, at her home in Camarillo. When she opened the door I was shocked to see that underneath her black tee was a taught round belly. Seeing my surprise, she casually remarked "Oh ya, I forgot to tell you- I'm 7 months pregnant." I remember being torn between feelings confusion (she doesn't have a boyfriend, and isn't prone to casually "dancing the horizontal tango".  And why the hell hadn't I noticed this when I saw her just 3 weeks earlier?) and hurt (who doesn't tell their big sister these kinds of things? Was she afraid I would judge her?) and excitement (I get to have all the benefits of a baby without the burden of responsibility or childbirth. Awesome... for me, anyway.). The latter of the three emotions eventually won out and after a quick hug and brief questioning (the father was a guy she hadn't dated in about 3 years), we began planning the redecoration of the family den into a light blue nursery. Apparently she was having a boy, though she never actually told me this. I recall being very impressed with how she was handling herself. I've always imagined my sister, as well as myself, being a nervous and fearful future mother. In my dream however she was confident, calm and focused (not usual traits for this one, with or without a bun in the oven). Anyway, I woke up in the midst of discussing paint colors as our motorhome pulled into a local gas station called the "Kum and Go".  My mind immediately went from dreaming to amused giggling to deciding which ice cream treat I should get. I never mentioned this dream to my sister (who had been napping right beside me) and had pretty much forgotten it until now. 

So a tiny bit of research has given me these interpretations: Dreaming of your sister "symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with her, whether it one of sibling rivalry, caring, protectiveness, etc. Your sister may draw attention to your family role and sense of belonging" while a pregnancy refers to growth and development. This is actually pretty relevant to my life right now. The aforementioned road trip has me spending nearly every waking moment with my family in a space that measures less than 500 square feet. This inescapable closeness definitely tries my patience with my family members, and has my mind constantly pondering specifics of our relationships. More so with some than others though, and it is a bit odd to me that I dreamt of this sister when I consciously feel I have more latent issues with the other one. Something to think about...

So... how'd I do?

 

water everywhere

i've been very bad at keeping up with this blog, though dreams continue to come.

so, in the hopes of maintaining this alive (and adding some spice to the mix) my friend will join the mix.

and i'll post about a dream i had in 2008. it's a short but goodie...

starts off with me in bed in a dark room. my friend (and former roommate) kent is there. while i'm slowly waking up, i realize that he's taking pictures of me in my sleep. i swat him away playfully.

i realize the room (which looks like a cottage on some south pacific island) has sliding glass doors that are slightly open. a breeze is coming in...

i open the doors further and see that the water comes right up to the floorboard. we're completely surrounded by an extremely peaceful ocean.

So, I jump in.

I'm immediately over my head in the water and slightly struggling to break the top. i feel a strong undercurrent pulling me down.
i finally break through and look up at kent. he's smiling at me.

i wake up.

i'm such a narcissist in my dreams

i constantly have dreams of my "home". and homes are of course, representations of the self in the non waking world. this time, my home was (once again) exactly like my current home (because i'm not only a narcissist but I apparently have no imagination), only this time my neighbors were different. the building was undergoing changes: a latino family was being kicked out thanks to gentrification; all of the other apartments were being expanded, etc. the landlord was moving to some development off the coast of malibu (it reminded me of those islands they built in dubai - the palms).

I took it all in, and then left.

as i was walking through the neighborhood, i came upon a set of stairs. i felt compelled to climb them. about 3/4 of the way up, i was struggling. using the railing i pulled myself up the final few steps and found myself in front of a hospital.

i knew instantly that i was meeting someone there.

before i could get inside i encountered one of the big bosses at my job having a very public argument with her husband. it was almost as if this was THEIR hospital - they were standing on opposite ends of the main entrance, yelling across to each other. even though they were clearly in everyone's way and making a spectacle of themselves, they still stared down all who came near with their expectation that we all submit to living around them. ok, whatever, i went around.

and found myself inside the building... which suddenly looked like a hotel instead. i found my grandmother, apparently in charge of the place. my mother and aunt rushed in, asking my grandmother for a place to hide us all. i have no idea what we're hiding from, but i assume i'm part of the problem. g-ma finds us a room and tells us to wait out the night. no problem, we all fall into a half sleep and rest until just before sun-up.

at this point my mom (who by the way, is completely bald), asks me to get the car.

i wake up as i'm walking out of the building looking for the cops.

in this world and beyond

last nights dream:

i'm living in some kind of cloisture, european, old buildings with a central square to every connection of buildings. we're al there to learn some ancient form of witchcraft, socery, meditation, etc. i don't remember much of the days except i'm traveling with the same group of people, mostly females, maybe that's because of how we're broken up by sleeping arrangements. i have my own room - it's large, simple, with lots of windows. overall the place gives me a very medieval, catherdral feeling.

the part that sticks out to me most is the fact that throughout the dream, people ae picking up fortune cookies at random times. they're scattered about the place in bowls like holy water.

i say goodnight to a friend, and as i'm leaving her room i pick up a cookie.

it reads:
forever tatiana, in this world and beyond.

i wake up.

astral projection and lucid dreams

for a long time when i was younger (well into my early teens) i was able to astral project in my dreams pretty much all the time. I never really understood what i was doing, nor did i have a vocabulary to talk about it until years after it stopped happening, but nevertheless, my dreams would constantly start off with me "leaving my body" very vividly and obviously, hovering over myself for a few minutes, occasionally hovering around the house for a while, and then flashing into my dreamworld.

i mentioned this to a friend of mine in high school, who was pretty open to altered states of consciousness. he told me that it freaked him out. not surprisingly, fear set in and the astral projections stopped happening. I'm still trying to figure out a way to get them back.

luckily, i'm still able to dream lucidly. the dreams i remember tend to be lucid dreams, although i remember most dreams at least for a few minutes after waking up. if i don't write down the non-lucid dreams right away, they're usually lost in my morning routine.

for example, i had some pretty unreal dreams the last two nights, both of which have been largely lost to my conscious memory except for certain pieces of them. in one dream i remember being tossed about in some major waves, like tsunami waves, except i wasn't scared. in fact, i was pretty much giddy. i could breathe and see the top of the water, so that might have helped, but more than anything i loved being surrounded by such a powerful force of nature. there was a train station just above the water (thank you spirited away) and the people waiting for the train were pretty rattled by the waves. i remember helping them out of the water.

the rest might come to me later if i think hard enough about it but for now, that must have been the most important part.

neurogenesis

this post has nothing/possibly something to do with dreams.

i'm probably way behind the times on this, but I've recently become fascinated by neurogenesis (the growth of new neurons in the brain). having taken biology in early 90s, i was taught that the brain developed in the fetal stage and for a brief time after birth.

In 1999 a neuroscientist discovered that mammals (and birds) actually generate new neurons in the brain well into adulthood. this growth happens largely in the parts of the brain that dictate memory (increased capacity for, interactions between and its relationship with time).

this is, of course, an oversimplification of a topic that i'm not in any way knowledgable enough to discuss at length BUT - think of the repercussions!

first of all - this is a completely opposite way of looking at the brain as was previously thought.
AND what could this mean in terms of our memory and relationship to dreams?!

holy smokes batman!
i'm hooked.

the count - early 1980s

so obviously, the blog is about dreams. my dreams to be exact. not the abstract ones that i'm supposed to have to guide my life, but the nonsensical/insightful ones that i live when my eyes are asleep. good thing my brain is always awake and that my memory has served me well. i hope to document as many of my deams as I can. I also want to try to document dreams that I had years ago, that are still vivid to me. This is one of those deams...

It starts off in my childhood home. I'm looking out my bedroom window, onto the backyard and pathway between the houses on the block. If you're not from the northeast - houses tend to have alleys/walkways between them. it's interesting.

anyway, i'm looking out the window when i realize how quiet the neighborhood is. this is very weird considering i lived in semi-urban part of northern NJ just 3 blocks from the hudson river. no planes landing at la guardia, no cars honking in the dead of night, no fighting/yelling from the neighbors, no rowdy "guests" at the strip club a few doors down. just silence.

my parents aren't home. no one is home, i'm completely alone. just then, everyone i know is walking down the pathway in nothing but towels. they look green and sickly to me. like zombies. they look up at the window and acknowledge seeing me, but no one says anything. they all file in to the house next door. the strange house where the older women used to live. the house that's been empty since they passed away. the house i'm scared of.

i decide to check it out. i run downstairs and into the backyard. i run through the gate and catch up with someone. they tell me to go home, that this isn't for me. i won't listen. i'm convinced that whoever is keeping these people away from me is reasonable and will listen to my request to return my friends and family so, i follow everyone into the house. i'm still confused why they're all naked wrapped in towels.

we're in the house. more green. green walls, air, people, everything. all of a sudden, the count walks into the room.
i can't breathe. it's him. it's that strange little man with the funny accent who won't stop counting. i hate him.

the count comes over and puts his arm around me. tells me how happy he is that i've joined them. takes me upstairs. i don't remember saying anything except "no". over and over again.

he straps me onto a metal slab, tells me it won't hurt a bit. as soon as i let him give me the shot (the needle is as big as my head! where did that needle come from!?), i'll be back with my family and friends. i struggle, the straps are too tight. i can't get out, and he's coming closer. all i can see are his teeth and that weird smile of his. the needle is about the break the skin.

i wake up in my dad's arms. i'm sweating from head to toe, and crying.

it's still strange that i remember it so vividly. this must have happened sometime in 1984.